Life Goes On - We Can Find Gratitude
Autism with a young adult looks different than it does with a child. In our case many parts are easier, but the parts that are challenging are a frustration. They frustrate us, but even more than that, they frustrate Nicholas. We try honesty and good communication but no matter how much we wish we could, we cannot fix everything.
I belong to a MOMs group at my church and this has been a huge help to me. It has taught me so much about life and parenting. Not just Nicholas, but all of our kids get frustrated with what is hard in their life, so all kids face many challenges. Our speaker at MOMs this last week talked about flipping the gratitude switch and basically changing the path our brain is on. If we are on a negative path we, not only stay there but as we complain, others join us on that negative path. Changing to a positive path can make a huge difference. He used the example of stubbing his toe, first thing in the morning and starting the day off badly, we say to ourselves “what a lousy way to start the day”. He suggests we find some things to be grateful for in the hard times. It’s easy to be grateful when things are going well. This is about finding things to be grateful for when things aren’t going so well.
For example, when I am feeling bad because life has dealt me a tough hand, I need to play it, not be angry about it. I am going to try to work on this skill set with Nicholas. I am fairly good at gratefulness but of course there is room for improvement, so hopefully together we will benefit. I would suggest you consider trying this concept too. I think life is just better when we can look for and find the good in things. A specific example would look like this:
Our daily life is hard my kiddo has autism.
Instead of the negative path, try: I am so grateful I have this child, and his sense of humor and his gentle spirit. Or whatever great things you can think about for your child.
Another example: Our son was diagnosed at 5 with moderate to severe autism. Life has held
some hard times.
Instead I prefer to believe: I am grateful a diagnosis has given us the opportunity to allow Nicholas to grow and inspire so many others and for our family to create an organization the lets us meet so many amazing people that would otherwise never have become a part of our lives.
Your brain has jumped the track to a more positive path and once you begin to feel your spirit, your brain and your heart following the gratitude path, you will not want to take the path of frustration and anger. I am not saying this is easy but I definitely believe it is worth a try. What do you possibly have to lose by seeing things in a more positive light and helping others to do the same?
“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” - Melody Beattie
